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How to have a truly happy new year.

For the first time in years, I don’t remember my New Year’s resolution from January. Usually, I write it down in my journal or on a note I stick to my mirror. There’s been many of those dog-eared sticky notes from years past. The year of contentment. Speaking life. We passed pancakes across the breakfast table on January 1st this year. “What do you want from 2018?” I can’t remember my answer. I know what I didn’t want though. I didn’t want to walk into her office and share the parts of my life I’m inclined to hide. I didn’t want to Facetime her the day after she delivered her baby that never breathed. I didn’t want to spend four months wondering how I’d walk into her house on Christmas day and see her empty chair. I didn’t want to go on another first date that led nowhere. We sit across from each other in a little coffee shop in Colorado, picking at a charcuterie board. “When I think about all of the things I have left to go through,” her voice cracks....
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Nostalgia at Dusk

(Reposting: I need this reminder again. That this moment is the one that matters.)
I sit on the front step of my porch as twilight envelops me and my study notes. Across the street, two kids chase each other, laughing. The faint smell of damp, green earth mixes with nostalgia. I remember being the little brown-haired girl chasing after the blue-eyed boy. I remember how he’d tease me with a sideways grin and I would punch him in the arm and stick out my lip.

It’s April: change is sprouting.

The setting sun catches between my eyelashes and I wish to be the child lying on the trampoline, red-cheeked and breathless, with only the worry of the lights being turned out when bedtime comes.

The little boy glances up at me from across the street and smiles shyly from under his curls.

Another moment disappears into the shadows of dusk.

I look down at my notes for the exam tomorrow and think how, one day, I may want this back too.

So, I cherish the moment on the steps as the shadows come and remember how God’s mercies will be there tomorrow. Again.

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