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How to have a truly happy new year.

For the first time in years, I don’t remember my New Year’s resolution from January. Usually, I write it down in my journal or on a note I stick to my mirror. There’s been many of those dog-eared sticky notes from years past. The year of contentment. Speaking life. We passed pancakes across the breakfast table on January 1st this year. “What do you want from 2018?” I can’t remember my answer. I know what I didn’t want though. I didn’t want to walk into her office and share the parts of my life I’m inclined to hide. I didn’t want to Facetime her the day after she delivered her baby that never breathed. I didn’t want to spend four months wondering how I’d walk into her house on Christmas day and see her empty chair. I didn’t want to go on another first date that led nowhere. We sit across from each other in a little coffee shop in Colorado, picking at a charcuterie board. “When I think about all of the things I have left to go through,” her voice cracks....
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Drunk on Adventure

I’m ten when I take my foam sled to the tip of the barn roof and hurtle off the edge, super-man style.

I’m sixteen when I balance my skis on the brink of the slope and watch the valley light up with an artificial glow, one street at a time. Then, the stars explode across the sky and I inhale deeply and plunge forward.

I’m eighteen when I lean out the door of a small airplane and look at the blurry Colorado fields thousands of feet below. My tandem partner yells ‘GO’ and we jump. It’s what they call free fall, where gravity is our only opponent.

I’m addicted to adventure.

It’s wonderful until I’m twenty-two. I sit on my couch and my eyes read ‘The Tempest’ while my mind imagines hitch-hiking the state of Kentucky, rock-climbing in Alberta, and kayaking in northern Ontario.

It’s the way it feels to dance for three hours straight, exuberant and lively, into the wee hours of the morning. But, the music stops, the excitement dies, and everyone goes home.

The grandest adventures only satisfy for a short time.

When I can’t fall asleep because I am restless, I wonder where my happiness lies.

I redirect my yearning to the One who satisfies.

An adventure that begins on bended knee.

“O God, You are my God; I shall seek You earnestly; My soul thirsts for You, my flesh yearns for You, In a dry and weary land where there is no water. Thus I have seen You in the sanctuary, To see Your power and Your glory. Because Your lovingkindness is better than life, My lips will praise You.” Psalm 63:1-5



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