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How to have a truly happy new year.

For the first time in years, I don’t remember my New Year’s resolution from January. Usually, I write it down in my journal or on a note I stick to my mirror. There’s been many of those dog-eared sticky notes from years past. The year of contentment. Speaking life. We passed pancakes across the breakfast table on January 1st this year. “What do you want from 2018?” I can’t remember my answer. I know what I didn’t want though. I didn’t want to walk into her office and share the parts of my life I’m inclined to hide. I didn’t want to Facetime her the day after she delivered her baby that never breathed. I didn’t want to spend four months wondering how I’d walk into her house on Christmas day and see her empty chair. I didn’t want to go on another first date that led nowhere. We sit across from each other in a little coffee shop in Colorado, picking at a charcuterie board. “When I think about all of the things I have left to go through,” her voice cracks....

The Bridegroom's Return

The pianist begins to play and she takes that first step through the double doors into the auditorium. A hush falls across the guests. She’s radiant in white. She tries to brush her tears away with her forefinger. 

I catch my breath.

A day later, I’m cutting grass at dusk. The clouds break apart for a moment, sunlight streaming through. I stop and watch, waiting. My Bridegroom is returning soon. Joy overflows from my eyes. 

I catch my breath. 


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