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How to have a truly happy new year.

For the first time in years, I don’t remember my New Year’s resolution from January. Usually, I write it down in my journal or on a note I stick to my mirror. There’s been many of those dog-eared sticky notes from years past. The year of contentment. Speaking life. We passed pancakes across the breakfast table on January 1st this year. “What do you want from 2018?” I can’t remember my answer. I know what I didn’t want though. I didn’t want to walk into her office and share the parts of my life I’m inclined to hide. I didn’t want to Facetime her the day after she delivered her baby that never breathed. I didn’t want to spend four months wondering how I’d walk into her house on Christmas day and see her empty chair. I didn’t want to go on another first date that led nowhere. We sit across from each other in a little coffee shop in Colorado, picking at a charcuterie board. “When I think about all of the things I have left to go through,” her voice cracks....

Pink World

She looks at me like she always does, with the eyes that are filled with heart. She smiles big and says, "It's my birthday tomorrow!" This is the girl who is turning nineteen and who gets excited about the colour pink. And I remember telling her the other day that it was 'pretty cool' that she had a favourite colour; I never did. 

She smiled at me, "Yeah. I just think, why not get excited about stuff like that? Like, what's not to love about pink?" 

Why not? Pink still isn't my favourite colour, but every time I see it, I get happy because I can picture her face crinkling in excitement. Why not be the girl who carries a pink umbrella in a sea of black ones. Why not be the one wearing a pink shirt in the theater when everyone else is a collage of grey, brown, and black?

Colourful clothing and accessories aren't the only way to paint the world glad. When you wake up in the morning to freezing rain speckled against dark clouds, why not get excited about hot chocolate on the broken couch? When you wait at the bus stop shivering in the winter cold, why not get excited about watching your breath swirl its shadow into the frozen air? When you can’t concentrate on anything that you’re trying to do, why not get excited about taking a break to go jump in a leaf pile with your favourite people?

So this girl I know? The one with the slow smile, the big laugh? The one who brings her friends lattes to help them study, chocolate to make their bad day brighter, and writes kind notes to slip under people's doors? It's her birthday tomorrow. Isn't that AMAZING?!


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