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How to have a truly happy new year.

For the first time in years, I don’t remember my New Year’s resolution from January. Usually, I write it down in my journal or on a note I stick to my mirror. There’s been many of those dog-eared sticky notes from years past. The year of contentment. Speaking life. We passed pancakes across the breakfast table on January 1st this year. “What do you want from 2018?” I can’t remember my answer. I know what I didn’t want though. I didn’t want to walk into her office and share the parts of my life I’m inclined to hide. I didn’t want to Facetime her the day after she delivered her baby that never breathed. I didn’t want to spend four months wondering how I’d walk into her house on Christmas day and see her empty chair. I didn’t want to go on another first date that led nowhere. We sit across from each other in a little coffee shop in Colorado, picking at a charcuterie board. “When I think about all of the things I have left to go through,” her voice cracks....
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The Great Affirmation

“Dad, do you love me?” I ask him as I grip the handle on my suitcase, ready to leave my parent’s house.

He laughs. “Of course. Very much.”

I know it’s true, but I struggle to believe him.

The night before, I come home and hug him, press my head against his chest, and listen to his heart-beat. I believe him then.

Because words are either a catastrophic mistake or a babble of brouhaha.

That’s how I feel when I sit across from the girl at Starbucks. She knows it's true that He loves her, but is struggling to believe Him.

What do we cling to?

The Great Affirmation. How God-incarnate didn't just say things about love, truth, and justice; He showed them, demonstrated them, embodied them.

“For what I received I passed on to you as of first importance: that Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures, that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day.” 1 Corinthians 15:3-6

Because words are hard to digest.

Parables are easier.

Like when the tears come as I sit down at the piano and play Chopin, or Debussy, or even the ThePianoGuys. And my fingers stop because I am too overwhelmed at the greatness of God. Something in the music. An expression. A demonstration of awe. Articulating what words cannot.

It’s why I savour C.S. Lewis’ The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. Because the too-big things can only be addressed to the imagination of children.  

Language fails me often.

What do we cling to?

The biggest demonstration. The silhouette of a man hanging on a tree. Golgotha.

The Great Affirmation.

“But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8


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