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How to have a truly happy new year.

For the first time in years, I don’t remember my New Year’s resolution from January. Usually, I write it down in my journal or on a note I stick to my mirror. There’s been many of those dog-eared sticky notes from years past. The year of contentment. Speaking life. We passed pancakes across the breakfast table on January 1st this year. “What do you want from 2018?” I can’t remember my answer. I know what I didn’t want though. I didn’t want to walk into her office and share the parts of my life I’m inclined to hide. I didn’t want to Facetime her the day after she delivered her baby that never breathed. I didn’t want to spend four months wondering how I’d walk into her house on Christmas day and see her empty chair. I didn’t want to go on another first date that led nowhere. We sit across from each other in a little coffee shop in Colorado, picking at a charcuterie board. “When I think about all of the things I have left to go through,” her voice cracks....
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Whatever Circumstances

“The weather just can’t make up its mind,” the cashier says and hands my change to me. “I’m sure we’d all be happy whether it’s winter or spring, as long as it makes up its mind.”

I highly doubt everyone would ever be happy about the weather, but I don’t tell her that.

I’m back to university after spring break and feel like the next five weeks are a race to an invisible finish line.

I scroll through job descriptions: “We are looking for a senior level applicant who is able to pull off a super-hero cape while typing a 500 page screen-play and pedaling a unicycle backwards.”

Unqualified for that one too.

My heart feels restless, like it’s working off a dozen shots of espresso.

I read Paul’s words: “I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content.” (Philippians 4:11)

While I wait: content.

While I plan: content.

Despite circumstances: content.

Because Christ is always in me.

Though the mountains “be moved into the heart of the sea.” (Psalm 46:2)

Though the fields “yield no food.” (Habakkuk 3:17)

Content.

I wake up and spring vanished again; snowflakes swirl outside.

But everything is warm where I watch from behind the window. Unaffected.

“For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from him.” (Psalm 62:5)

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