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How to have a truly happy new year.

For the first time in years, I don’t remember my New Year’s resolution from January. Usually, I write it down in my journal or on a note I stick to my mirror. There’s been many of those dog-eared sticky notes from years past. The year of contentment. Speaking life. We passed pancakes across the breakfast table on January 1st this year. “What do you want from 2018?” I can’t remember my answer. I know what I didn’t want though. I didn’t want to walk into her office and share the parts of my life I’m inclined to hide. I didn’t want to Facetime her the day after she delivered her baby that never breathed. I didn’t want to spend four months wondering how I’d walk into her house on Christmas day and see her empty chair. I didn’t want to go on another first date that led nowhere. We sit across from each other in a little coffee shop in Colorado, picking at a charcuterie board. “When I think about all of the things I have left to go through,” her voice cracks....
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Humans

“Ecclesiastes and Job are my two favourite books,” I tell her.

Because I’m a pessimist.

Or…

Because the books strip human nature to its bare flesh and show us for who we are.

I see my classmates getting it. When you put twenty writers in a room together, you inevitably get desperate attempts to decode human nature and purpose on pieces of lined paper.

“Ecclesiastes and Job are my two favourite books.”

Because they have helped me get through the weeks and years that end with question marks and the days that end with tear-filled prayers.

I nod along with Job: “Man who is born of woman is few of days and full of trouble.” (Job 14:1)

And Solomon too: “What has a man from all the toil and striving of heart with which he toils beneath the sun?” (Ecclesiastes 2:22)

I get what they are saying. My classmates get it. My friends get it.

But not everyone knows what Job says between groans. What has my heart filled with joy every morning and restless evening…


“For I know that my Redeemer lives.” (Job 19: 25)





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