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How to have a truly happy new year.

For the first time in years, I don’t remember my New Year’s resolution from January. Usually, I write it down in my journal or on a note I stick to my mirror. There’s been many of those dog-eared sticky notes from years past. The year of contentment. Speaking life. We passed pancakes across the breakfast table on January 1st this year. “What do you want from 2018?” I can’t remember my answer. I know what I didn’t want though. I didn’t want to walk into her office and share the parts of my life I’m inclined to hide. I didn’t want to Facetime her the day after she delivered her baby that never breathed. I didn’t want to spend four months wondering how I’d walk into her house on Christmas day and see her empty chair. I didn’t want to go on another first date that led nowhere. We sit across from each other in a little coffee shop in Colorado, picking at a charcuterie board. “When I think about all of the things I have left to go through,” her voice cracks....

Shared Struggles

It's what we're sitting there, on the red couch, asking ourselves at 1 AM, lip stains on empty tea cups. We've just come back from Bible study, encouraged, but our burdens are still wrapped tight inside our hearts. And the one thing we know we could never do is tell them how to really pray for us.

I'm left wondering when I go to my room, pacing as I watch the sleeping city outside my window, how many of them have gone home to the same thoughts. Do we all return to our houses after Bible study, after church, and wonder if we're the only one? Why are there some things that we just don't talk about as Christians? Where do all the forgiven sinners go when they're struggling with bitterness, rebellion, when they're hearing voices? Who will lay the Scriptures before them and pray for their protection?

I remember reading his blog, the Christian guy who I supposed knew little about struggles with sin, and he wrote out the whole plot of his life, exposed his past struggle with homosexuality. What was it that brought him freedom? He found a trustworthy person to whisper what he had faced alone for years. Then, I read an interview where she, a picture perfect woman of God, a popular worship singer, confessed how she'd known the addiction to pornography and now knew freedom in Christ Jesus.

I remember: "No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man." (1 Cor. 10:13)

God is our Counselour. God also gave us the Church. Maybe it's time to pray about with whom to share your current struggles. Or, maybe, you've been set free and it's time to pray about whether God desires you to open your heart and humbly share about the victory He has given you. His Spirit is our Guide and, friend, maybe it really isn't time for that yet. All I know is that there are those living side by side, facing the same struggle against darkness, and never realizing it.

Just pray. Be obedient. Know that you're not alone.

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