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How to have a truly happy new year.

For the first time in years, I don’t remember my New Year’s resolution from January. Usually, I write it down in my journal or on a note I stick to my mirror. There’s been many of those dog-eared sticky notes from years past. The year of contentment. Speaking life. We passed pancakes across the breakfast table on January 1st this year. “What do you want from 2018?” I can’t remember my answer. I know what I didn’t want though. I didn’t want to walk into her office and share the parts of my life I’m inclined to hide. I didn’t want to Facetime her the day after she delivered her baby that never breathed. I didn’t want to spend four months wondering how I’d walk into her house on Christmas day and see her empty chair. I didn’t want to go on another first date that led nowhere. We sit across from each other in a little coffee shop in Colorado, picking at a charcuterie board. “When I think about all of the things I have left to go through,” her voice cracks....

To Be Honest

It's early morning and I'm a robot, praying. My words are good, perfect, beautiful. But, I'm not really praying anything. My mind is still in my pillow, in my textbooks, in my schedule. Does God care to hear what I really want to say? Since when do we feel the need to hide where we're really at? I feel like Adam and Eve. My heart is fully exposed; God sees how distracted I am, but I'm too afraid to tell Him. Doesn't He just want to pull us back into His peace, back into focus? 
Be honest with God. He sees right through to soul. 

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