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How to have a truly happy new year.

For the first time in years, I don’t remember my New Year’s resolution from January. Usually, I write it down in my journal or on a note I stick to my mirror. There’s been many of those dog-eared sticky notes from years past. The year of contentment. Speaking life. We passed pancakes across the breakfast table on January 1st this year. “What do you want from 2018?” I can’t remember my answer. I know what I didn’t want though. I didn’t want to walk into her office and share the parts of my life I’m inclined to hide. I didn’t want to Facetime her the day after she delivered her baby that never breathed. I didn’t want to spend four months wondering how I’d walk into her house on Christmas day and see her empty chair. I didn’t want to go on another first date that led nowhere. We sit across from each other in a little coffee shop in Colorado, picking at a charcuterie board. “When I think about all of the things I have left to go through,” her voice cracks....

How will you Die?

I've heard stories about how people die. 
Some go, lifting hands to heaven, a smile flickering and fading out. 
Some go, clenching fist to heart, the face hardened as the heart inside.
How will you go?
I wonder sometimes, especially on days like today when the phone-call comes. That dear one is no longer here to be loved. 
But, the funeral, the phone-call, the heart weighed down make me wonder: How will I go? 
I hope...I trust...I know, if not hands held out to heaven, then soul held tight in Jesus' hands.
How will you go?

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