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How to have a truly happy new year.

For the first time in years, I don’t remember my New Year’s resolution from January. Usually, I write it down in my journal or on a note I stick to my mirror. There’s been many of those dog-eared sticky notes from years past. The year of contentment. Speaking life. We passed pancakes across the breakfast table on January 1st this year. “What do you want from 2018?” I can’t remember my answer. I know what I didn’t want though. I didn’t want to walk into her office and share the parts of my life I’m inclined to hide. I didn’t want to Facetime her the day after she delivered her baby that never breathed. I didn’t want to spend four months wondering how I’d walk into her house on Christmas day and see her empty chair. I didn’t want to go on another first date that led nowhere. We sit across from each other in a little coffee shop in Colorado, picking at a charcuterie board. “When I think about all of the things I have left to go through,” her voice cracks....

Influence is not Instagram followers.


Seven years. That’s how long it’s been since I first opened a blank blogger post, knowing that whatever I typed on that naked page would go onto the World Wide Web for whoever cared to see it.

Or whoever didn’t care.

I write for a living. I have two blogs. I’ve gotten used to sitting in a room full of strangers reading what I’ve written and then verbally tearing it up in front of me.

But there has been no writing project more terrifying than goldenclay.blogspot.com.

I remember sitting across from her in the living room. “Do you know you’ve actually played a significant role in my story?”

“No.” I’m surprised. We’ve hung out only a few times.

She explains how meeting me in a class at church was an answer to her parent’s prayer. How signing up for a small group wouldn’t have happened without me signing up beside her. How she wouldn’t have met her small group leader. The one who might be the one.

Seven years and I often find myself checking the number of views on my blog.

Wondering about posts I’ve wept over, argued with God about. Posts that less than ten people have given a like. Wondering if it’s worth it.

Because, as much as I hate math, I often judge my life’s worth based on numbers. The higher the number of views, followers, best friends, the more worthwhile I am to God.

What we often forget is that we add value to people’s stories just based on being in them in the first place--and often through no choice of our own. We add value in ways we could never plan or preconceive.

Like how we spent a total of six hours together before I never saw him again. And how he sent me a text saying he admired my intelligence. And how I never knew that someone would think that about me. And how now I’m less afraid to speak up and be a leader.

Or how I reached out to her for accountability with shame I’d kept secret for fifteen years and she never batted an eyelash when I told her the gruesome details. She just thanked me. She’ll never know how God used her to open a prison door.

Seven years. Seven years of pushing the ‘Post’ button and realizing that my biggest role as a Christian writer, as with everything, is to die to myself.

For me: to be vulnerable, honest about my brokenness and my Hope (both of which can be equally difficult).

To be obedient.

Even with zero views and zero followers.

Like Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane.

Who am I to say how God is working? Or that He needs an audience to do it.

“Man's steps are ordained by the LORD, How then can man understand his way?” Proverbs 20:24


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