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How to have a truly happy new year.

For the first time in years, I don’t remember my New Year’s resolution from January. Usually, I write it down in my journal or on a note I stick to my mirror. There’s been many of those dog-eared sticky notes from years past. The year of contentment. Speaking life. We passed pancakes across the breakfast table on January 1st this year. “What do you want from 2018?” I can’t remember my answer. I know what I didn’t want though. I didn’t want to walk into her office and share the parts of my life I’m inclined to hide. I didn’t want to Facetime her the day after she delivered her baby that never breathed. I didn’t want to spend four months wondering how I’d walk into her house on Christmas day and see her empty chair. I didn’t want to go on another first date that led nowhere. We sit across from each other in a little coffee shop in Colorado, picking at a charcuterie board. “When I think about all of the things I have left to go through,” her voice cracks....
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His faithfulness, my shield.

As she slams into the read end of my car, all I can think about is how I cringed at the four figures I saw on the VISA machine at the vehicle repair shop three days earlier.

And the four figures slipping through an e-transfer to my new landlords two days earlier.

Until I call him and he says, “It’s a little thing, Kate.”

But I’m thinking of all the little things at once. And how there’s no cell service in heaven and I can’t call her for that compassion she served as often as her English trifle.

“It’s a little thing.”

I drive home singing praises because I sat on that dock a week earlier watching the sun rise higher, as it does every day.

As it does every morning.

His faithfulness is new every morning.

I sat on that dock in the company of the minnows and stuck my finger between the pages of that soul-changing book. The book of Psalms. Chapter 91.

It’s the very verse she texts me out of the blue after I tell her about my back bumper. “He will cover you with his pinions, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness is a shield and buckler.”

His faithfulness is a shield.

When life marches against me, who better to stand behind than the One who shields me with a track record of victorious love.


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