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How to have a truly happy new year.

For the first time in years, I don’t remember my New Year’s resolution from January. Usually, I write it down in my journal or on a note I stick to my mirror. There’s been many of those dog-eared sticky notes from years past. The year of contentment. Speaking life. We passed pancakes across the breakfast table on January 1st this year. “What do you want from 2018?” I can’t remember my answer. I know what I didn’t want though. I didn’t want to walk into her office and share the parts of my life I’m inclined to hide. I didn’t want to Facetime her the day after she delivered her baby that never breathed. I didn’t want to spend four months wondering how I’d walk into her house on Christmas day and see her empty chair. I didn’t want to go on another first date that led nowhere. We sit across from each other in a little coffee shop in Colorado, picking at a charcuterie board. “When I think about all of the things I have left to go through,” her voice cracks....
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The Five-Letter Word

It’s Monday morning and I’m staring at an endless line of brake lights on a busy 400-series highway.

Stop. Go. Stop. Go.

DREAD: I want to edit the word out of my vocabulary.  

It’s only the second week of my new job and I’m saying ‘no’ right out loud.

No to that lump that gets in the back of my throat and makes me feel like I’m going to choke.

No to the fog that creeps into my mind and turns my thoughts into ghosts.

No to the pressure in my chest when I picture the calendar on my work computer--haunting deadlines.

“Lord, I will rejoice.”

I have no choice. I know Someone who had every reason to dread, but He didn’t.

What was it like for Jesus on the last Monday before his death?

As the new year unravels before me. As my new home city rises up in front of me. As I face my first real day on the job, these are the words that replace dread with joy.

Jesus said. “Now my soul is troubled, and what shall I say? ‘Father, save me from this hour’? No, it was for this very reason I came to this hour. Father, glorify your name!” (John 12:27-28)

Glorify your name.

A dare for dread to drop to its knees and surrender.

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