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How to have a truly happy new year.

For the first time in years, I don’t remember my New Year’s resolution from January. Usually, I write it down in my journal or on a note I stick to my mirror. There’s been many of those dog-eared sticky notes from years past. The year of contentment. Speaking life. We passed pancakes across the breakfast table on January 1st this year. “What do you want from 2018?” I can’t remember my answer. I know what I didn’t want though. I didn’t want to walk into her office and share the parts of my life I’m inclined to hide. I didn’t want to Facetime her the day after she delivered her baby that never breathed. I didn’t want to spend four months wondering how I’d walk into her house on Christmas day and see her empty chair. I didn’t want to go on another first date that led nowhere. We sit across from each other in a little coffee shop in Colorado, picking at a charcuterie board. “When I think about all of the things I have left to go through,” her voice cracks....

The World in Multi-Colours

When I’m four and I scribble a picture of a sunny day onto a piece of white paper, I draw the sun yellow with my yellow crayon. To a three-year-old, the sun is either yellow or orange.

When I’m twelve, Grandma teaches me how to paint with watercolours. She shows me that flowers are not pink, but a spectrum of shades and colours. Like one of those big gobstoppers. The world explodes into flavours.

I speed past the morning sun, rising over my neighbour’s bush, every morning on my way to work. Hurry blends the world colourless and I’m back to thinking of everything in solid colours. There’s no flavour to that.

“The sun rises, and the sun goes down, and hastens to the place where it rises.” Ecclesiastes 1:5

I slow the car down on the way home from work and watch the sun set against a backdrop of colours. Pure wide-eyed reverence.


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