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How to have a truly happy new year.

For the first time in years, I don’t remember my New Year’s resolution from January. Usually, I write it down in my journal or on a note I stick to my mirror. There’s been many of those dog-eared sticky notes from years past. The year of contentment. Speaking life. We passed pancakes across the breakfast table on January 1st this year. “What do you want from 2018?” I can’t remember my answer. I know what I didn’t want though. I didn’t want to walk into her office and share the parts of my life I’m inclined to hide. I didn’t want to Facetime her the day after she delivered her baby that never breathed. I didn’t want to spend four months wondering how I’d walk into her house on Christmas day and see her empty chair. I didn’t want to go on another first date that led nowhere. We sit across from each other in a little coffee shop in Colorado, picking at a charcuterie board. “When I think about all of the things I have left to go through,” her voice cracks....
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Invisible Ever-Present Help

I breathe in snow crystals and the cold flakes all pile on my grey winter hat as I walk across campus towards my first class of the New Year. The last few steps up the stairs of University College are always forced, like my feet are a weighted appendage that I cannot control. I know I am too weak to participate in this class, to fight the perversion it promotes. Freud seems to reign there, in my professor’s thoughts and I’ve always felt that if Freud could speak to me, he’d look me up and down, disdainfully, and say, “My thoughts are revolutionary; they will last forever.”

I sit in class and stare out the window at the opaque crystal sky and smile, then cover my smile and pretend to turn my attention back to the piece of writing we are work shopping. I imagine my professor glancing up from the story he is squinting at and seeing my Protector standing there in the room, or even just the brightness of my Saviour, and we’d all be on our knees in a milli-second, proclaiming Him as God. My professor mentions Freud, the dead guy, and it all seems small and irrelevant because God is revolutionary and “of his kingdom there will be no end” (Luke 1:33).

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