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How to have a truly happy new year.

For the first time in years, I don’t remember my New Year’s resolution from January. Usually, I write it down in my journal or on a note I stick to my mirror. There’s been many of those dog-eared sticky notes from years past. The year of contentment. Speaking life. We passed pancakes across the breakfast table on January 1st this year. “What do you want from 2018?” I can’t remember my answer. I know what I didn’t want though. I didn’t want to walk into her office and share the parts of my life I’m inclined to hide. I didn’t want to Facetime her the day after she delivered her baby that never breathed. I didn’t want to spend four months wondering how I’d walk into her house on Christmas day and see her empty chair. I didn’t want to go on another first date that led nowhere. We sit across from each other in a little coffee shop in Colorado, picking at a charcuterie board. “When I think about all of the things I have left to go through,” her voice cracks....
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Blizzards

The last few weeks of November bring a whirlwind of deadlines, like the snowflakes madly flying around in circles outside my window. It’s easy to be blind sometimes. Or when the car won’t start and I really don’t have time to call every auto-repair shop in the city—but I knock on the door of a neighbour who lives a few doors down from me. I’ve never met him before, but he looks through the glass with his grey head tilted sideways, wondering who I am. He comes out into the cold in his giant coat, the hood covering his wrinkled face. He recharges my car’s battery; it’s the best excuse to make a new friend.

All I can whisper is “Hallelujah” as I drive away. The clouds have cleared and the sun illuminates the snow-covered stores, houses, and fields as they fly past the windows of my car. All this light, clarifying to my soul: immeasurable grace. 

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