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How to have a truly happy new year.

For the first time in years, I don’t remember my New Year’s resolution from January. Usually, I write it down in my journal or on a note I stick to my mirror. There’s been many of those dog-eared sticky notes from years past. The year of contentment. Speaking life. We passed pancakes across the breakfast table on January 1st this year. “What do you want from 2018?” I can’t remember my answer. I know what I didn’t want though. I didn’t want to walk into her office and share the parts of my life I’m inclined to hide. I didn’t want to Facetime her the day after she delivered her baby that never breathed. I didn’t want to spend four months wondering how I’d walk into her house on Christmas day and see her empty chair. I didn’t want to go on another first date that led nowhere. We sit across from each other in a little coffee shop in Colorado, picking at a charcuterie board. “When I think about all of the things I have left to go through,” her voice cracks....

When you don't know what you want to do when you grow up

“That’s kind of a dying field, isn’t it?”

I rub at the corner of my lip and look down at my feet, trying to pull my smile into neutrality. That’s what the businessman said to me as I traced the creases on my book and leaned my elbow against the cool metal of the plane’s insides. “I mean, it’s not easy to make a pile of money writing, but…” I’d like to think I’ll be able to eat somehow.

Months later, as a tall boy weaves me through the other waltzing couples, he asks me the same question, “So, what do you want to do with your degree?”

I’m trying to think of an original way to answer. “Uh, I think I’m going to be a full-time waitress and write on the side.” I probably should have bit my tongue because I think he thought I was serious.

I do it too. It’s the go-to question with high school students, with university students. It’s right up there with “What’s your name?”. I evaluate people based on where I see them going. That’s not always a bad thing; sometimes it really is the best way to get to know someone. However, maybe we’re missing what matters.

There’s no denying that some careers lead to a better income, some lead to a better lifestyle, and some give an outlet for creativity. That’s just not the point. I’m not saying to be lazy, unfocused, aimless; God never says that either. I’m just saying that when Abraham was about to plunge a dagger into his son’s heart, he had no idea God was going to provide a ram. Faith isn’t poetry we put on our walls. It’s what happens in the sweaty, sticky moments where we hold onto His promises even when we don’t know what’s coming next. It’s the rising to our feet when He gives us a command and we do it without knowing the outcome.

Growing up starts today. I whisper ‘yes’ to God for this moment, stride forward once, and nod ‘yes’ again. The cycle continues. Sure, I’ll lightly pencil in my five-year plan if you really want me too, but I’ll give God the eraser and the pen.

What I’d really like to answer when they ask it again is this: I want to do what Jesus did…nothing apart from the Father.

What do you want to be?

I want be a reflection of Jesus.


More than worrying about their career choices in grade ten, maybe we should worry about their souls. While we’re teaching them numbers, we should live out words in front of them, His Word. 

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